Trying to hold ourselves together and find our new normal after loosing our precious twin babies at 20 weeks to HELLP Syndrome.
Baby Boy A and Baby Girl B, conceived after 20 months and IUI plus injectibles; born still on November 12, 2008.

A blog about pregnancy loss and infertility. And whatever comes next. A blog about hanging on together and holding each other up.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Trying To Make Some Good

One of the things we did over our Due Date weekend was make plans to attend a Preeclampsia Foundation Awareness Walk. It’s Mothers’ Day weekend, and we have to travel 5 hours away for the closest Walk. . . And I’m terrified! I don’t have to tell you all how terribly difficult it’s going to be to attend this family-friendly event without our sweet babies, but we just really feel compelled to honor their memory in this way.

I know that everyone has their own causes, and I know that we’re all stretched thin during these times. And I know that it’s super uncomfortable for me to ask people for things – anything! – especially people like you who have been so wonderful and supportive of us :)

But I also know how many of you have also been touched by preeclampsia/ HELLP Syndrome, and I know how many of you care about me and B. So I wanted to at least let you know what we’re doing and give you the opportunity – and ask you kindly – to support us and the Foundation by donating to our Walk.

Most of you already know my story, so I won’t bore you with it now. (If you don’t, you can click here to read about the day the wheels fell off.) The short version is that I developed HELLP Syndrome, which is an extremely severe variant of preeclampsia. Preeclampsia causes a woman’s blood vessels to constrict, resulting in high blood pressure and a reduced blood flow that can affect organs throughout the body including the liver, kidneys, and brain.

HELLP Syndrome is very rare; however, preeclampsia is all too common. It is the leading known cause of premature births in the U.S., and it affects as many women in the U.S. as does breast cancer. Preeclampsia complicates 5-8% of all pregnancies: nearly 350,000 women each year in the U.S. alone. Over 1,500 women each week reach severe or critical status as I did and, even in the U.S., at least 2 mothers die each week because of this condition. Worldwide estimates suggest that preeclampsia causes 76,000 maternal and 500,000 infant deaths each year.

But the worst part is this: Preeclampsia has no known cause, and has no known cure other than delivery of the baby.

The Preeclampsia Foundation is dedicated to raising public awareness and funding innovative research for preeclampsia. Please consider supporting us and our Walk by donating to the Foundation! You can send us send a check made payable to the Preeclampsia Foundation, and we be honored to present it to the Foundation at the Walk. (Please email me for a mailing address.) Or, if you prefer to make a credit card donation simply go to, and make sure to indicate that the donation is made in memory of "Baby A and Baby B." I'm asking for this notation for record keeping purposes only - I know your own babies will be on your heart! All donations are tax deductible.

Please don't be upset with me for writing this post! Like I said, this is definitely not comfortable for me, but we're trying to reach out to all our family and friends - and you're my friends :) (Lucky you!)

Thank you so much for your continued love and support! And thank you for helping me fight preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome.


Niki said...

Hey Sweetie, I think you and your dh will find it quite healing to attend the walk. I spoke at the WI PE Walk last year and it was quite emotional, but it was helpful to be surrounded by other survivors. They will want to hear your story and if you are anything like me you enjoy sharing your babies with others. I am certain they will surround you with much love. ((HUGS))

Mrs. Spit said...

When Gabe died, people made contributions to the fund.

It's a cause close to my heart. The research and the cure are coming. It's getting there. Too late for us, but not for our children's children.

~Denise~ said...

You are amazing. Your experience has touched others and will continue to do so. I know walk day will be difficult, but there is a comraderie there that just can't be felt anywhere else. To be with women who know first hand was preeclampsia/HELLP is very empowering and I found it helpful when I first joined the PF.

I wish you peace that day.

Another Dreamer said...

Why would anyone be upset about this post hun (*hugs*)

We will donate via the link provided. In memory of Baby A and Baby B. To further research for the future.

I wish you well on that day. I am sure it will be hard, but everyone will be thinking of you and your precious babies.

Thinking of you all.

Erica said...

I'm so glad that you are doing this. We almost lost our older daughter because of this. It went undetected, till almost the last minute- till I thought I myself was literally dying. (My blood results showed I should have been on the floor having seizures and said it was the worst results he has seen in his 35 years of being an OB). I was induced and she was born early. The fightening thing is, they don't even know how she lived. My placenta had died, and they just kept telling me "You are very sick"... With me, they are now telling me (after losing Angel), that it is because of my clotting disorders. I hate how doctors don't take this seriously!! Hugs to you my friend, for going out and walking!

Cara said...

I know exactly how you feel. I absoultely hate asking for money - even when in is for a GREAT cause. That said, YOU (the collective you that you just wrote too) are the only reason that Share Southern Vermont exists. Because, when I put out my 'donate-only-if-you-feel-led-but-please-don't-feel-pushed' post - all the internet aunties responded. And WE now get to have our first memory walk because of it.

So- you bet your memorialzing/researched based behind that I will be donating through the link provided.

much love - and strength for your special day!

niobe said...

I'm going to donate in memory of your Baby A and Baby B, while remembering my own Baby A and Baby B...

Anonymous said...

That is so great that you and B decided to walk in baby A and baby B memory. I am sure you will be surrounded by supportive and loving people, and we will all be supporting you.

Courtney said...

As you know my dear friend, this is a cause near and dear to my heart that you are walking for. I will be donating for sure when payday hits next week. *hugs*

Delenn said...

Coming from L&F, I did not know of Preeclampsia until I had it with my first (I was lucky). I will gladly donate.

niobe said...

Just to let you know that I made my donation today...